Log in

No account? Create an account
Demon Dean
21 November 2018 @ 07:37 pm

 Hi everyone! You have just stumbled upon my journal. So turn around and run if you wish to keep your sanity, if not then hell -- feel free to friend me. :) And I fully understand why you might wanna do it (I'm well known for my scary looks and fucked up personality) and will probably friend you back. Thou be warned that the "friends only" part of this journal is mostly about my boring personal life -- If you're interested only in my writings you can check them out at the public parts of the journal too.

Your attention!whore DD.

Art in the sidebar by fleur93  midnight_road  animotus  bite_my_muse  rach_lin_ackles  loaded_remains 

The art in this post by violateraindrop 
Moodtheme SPN animated by lidi

Header by wheelygirl 


To Whom I Surrender My Soul (NC-17)Collapse )

You're broken, so am I (NC-17)Collapse )

Feeling: dirtydirty
Soundtrack: Billy Idol -- "Eyes without a face"
Demon Dean
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Pairing: J2 (Werewolf!Priestly!Jensen/human!Jared)

Rating: Nc-17

Warnings: AU, werewolves, destined mates, knotting, rimming, barebacking, schmoop, college setting, died hair, Chris!with braids, mentions of abuse and hate crimes, smoking!Jensen, kilt

Disclaimer: I do not own the boys, I just took them out to play.

Word Count: ~7800

So here's the original prompt from spn_kinkmeme: http://blindfold-spn.livejournal.com/7359.html?thread=7392447#t7392447
Gay wolves aren’t accepted so Jensen formed his own pack. There’s Chris/Chad, Danneel/ Genevieve, Sophia/Sandy. To be different they were streaks of colored dye in their hair except Christ he has braids and beads. The color doesn’t transfer to their wolf forms. (No one wants to see a hot pink wolf except possibly Jared). Jensen is Priestly like with the tattoos and eyeliner and faux hawk in blue. It’s taken him a long time to track down his mate, a human named Jared. I’d like Jensen to rescue Jared from something with a good mating knotting story. No rape! Strong and gentle is good.

Author's notes: Oh boy. Here it goes. I stumbled over a kink meme prompt that made me steer away into a world of college!AUs, werewolves, J2 and ponies. Well not the last but might have as well with all the new things I did with this fic. :P A huge thank you for the prompt to 1729trix and to sonnygrl11 for making this readable. I'm not a native speaker as some of you know and it's a pain to beta for me so really -- she saved my ass with this one. :)
Title borrowed from wonderful band U2 and mainly thanks to listening to crazy amounts of this cover of that by Disturbed.

Jensen watched Jared laugh with his friends, sitting under a tree just at the edge of the campus and looking so damn carefree and handsome it made Jensen want to just rush over and claim that pretty dimpled mouth. He slightly shook his head and took another drag from his cigarette. God. What was he even doing here?Collapse )

Feedback is love. :)

Feeling: anxiousanxious
Soundtrack: Disturbed -- "Prayer "
Demon Dean
18 January 2012 @ 12:00 pm

Feeling: aggravatedaggravated
Demon Dean
13 January 2012 @ 11:44 pm
In 2012, demondean resolves to...
Keep my journalism clean.
Eat more raves.
Admit my true feelings to miaphantom85.
Tell my family about bondage pants.
Ask my boss for a sam.
Pay for my american cars on time.
Get your own New Year's Resolutions:

I would love to see my boss' face when I ask for a Sam. XD
Tags: ,
Feeling: amusedamused
Soundtrack: Take That - "Love Love"
Demon Dean
01 November 2011 @ 10:43 pm

Evil dwells: Lonely is the night
Feeling: discontentdiscontent
Soundtrack: William Shatner - Major Tom (Coming Home)
Demon Dean
Slashing Sam and Alec Winchester [Possibly, maybe 1/3?]
Implied Sam/Alec
Rating: R
Warnings: AU, angst, slight daddy!chest, underage (Alec is 17)
Disclaimer: I do not own the boys, I just took them out to play.
Word Count: 2150

Summary: What if Dark Angel and SPN took place in the same universe? What id Dean had died facing off the yellow-eyed demon? What if Sam met this street kid, looking just like his deceased brother...

Author's notes: Written for sadritsuka12, who wanted (ages ago) a Sam/Alec story, where Sam raises Alec and they fall in love.
I'm sorry I couldn't post it sooner or for your birthday but here it is. (And maybe there will be more too. ;)) Happy birthday!  :)

Sam is only sixteen when his world falls apart. Literally. In one day The Pulse hits and his big brother dies from the mortal wound the Yellow eyed demon gave him before Dean was able to take him down with The Colt.
That day is also the last time Sam sees his father. John helps him salt and burn Dean’s body but then just leaves without a single glance back or an uttered word. It’s like he’s blaming Sam for happened and maybe he is. Maybe he should be, Sam can’t help but to think to himself. He’s here and alive after all and Dean’s not.
It’s been three month’s since Dean’s death when Sam thinks he sees a ghost in an abandoned mall. The boy looks just like Dean did when he was ten, his skin pale and his freckles only a whisper across his skin without the sun to bring them out.
Sam calls out to him but the kid only ducks and hides.
Sam stops in the middle of his step, realizing he must have scared the kid, not Dean, just some street kid fighting for survival like they all do these days. God he misses him so much that he already sees him everywhere.
He calls out an apology to the trash and furniture inside the mall, explains how he thought the kid was someone else, praying he is still somewhere there and listening. That he understands that Sam isn’t just some sick perv trying to capture him.
And finally when there’s no answer Sam just drops to his knees and starts sobbing cause he can’t take it anymore. Living without him… His big brother and guardian… It’s just too hard. Not a day goes by that he doesn’t wish he would have died with him.
And all this time he’s tried to stay strong but he just can’t anymore. Can’t and doesn’t want to. There’s nothing for him to live for. Nothing waiting for him besides eternal damnation of being alone.
He’s so lost in his despair that he forgets all of his training, letting his guards down and that’s why the hand on his shoulder startles him so much and he flinches.
“Sorry.” A young voice hesitantly apologizes and Sam raises his look to see the Dean looking boy standing beside him.
“No. It’s okay. I just forgot to be on guard, that’s all.” Sam explains, grasping for words as he can’t get over how much the kid resembles Dean. How familiar his green eyes are.
“Who are you?” Is the question that first falls over his lips.
“I’m X5-494.” Comes the quick and rehearsed answer before the boy goes silent for a moment and hesitantly adds: “But Ben and Max told me my name was Alec.”
“Ben and Max?” Sam repeats.
“Yeah. Other X5s. Their unit escaped first. I haven’t seen them after that.” Sam has a cold feeling in his stomach: “Escaped from where?” “From Manticore.” Alec states as matter of factly, studying Sam.
“I’m hungry.” He finally reluctantly admits after another careful pause and Sam can’t help but to smile at him. Finding this boy some food. Something so simple and yet finally… a purpose. A something that he can do.
“I can find us food. You want to come with me?” He asks, trying to sound casual but feeling his heart leaping in his chest with excitement and fear that the boy won’t trust him.
Alec nods, looking like he’d finally made up his mind about something and stepping closer to Sam he whispers in his ear: “So that you know. I’m a genetically engineered super soldier and I won’t let anyone take me to the bad place or cut or hurt me anymore.”
Looking a bit smug and proud as he steps back and looks Sam in the eye, there’s not even a hint of a smile or joke in Alec’s serious stare. Sam swallows but pulls him into a hug anyway and whispers into his soft mop of hair a promise that he will take care of him.
8 years later
Alec came bounding through the door, only slowing down enough to throw his back bag in the general direction of his room, before coming up behind Sam and wrapping his arms around him in a quick hug.
Sam laughed and turned around to ruffle his hair. “Well hello to you too. And how was school today?”
Alec smiled and rolled his eyes: “Boring as always but I’m getting really good at playing dumb to stay only slightly ahead of the others in class.”
“That’s my boy.” Sam happily nodded, grabbing Alec into a headlock and ruffling his hair.
“Sammy!” Alec whined and tried to wiggle out from it but Sam just laughed and hitched up his shirt enough to tickle his side. Alec burst into a giggle fit as he was extremely ticklish and his stepfather knew it well enough. Sam continued to tease him until Alec was red in the face and out of breath, finally willing to admit Sam’s superiority.
Sam patted his head affectionately before letting him go and stepping back to continue making dinner.
Alec bit his lip a bit disappointed to lose the physical contact. Thou only affectionate teasing it always made him feel good when Sam’s big hands were on him. He knew it was wrong. Knew Sam was like a father to him and that he thought of Alec as his son but it didn’t stop the young man’s body from reacting on its own accord.
“Sammy…” Alec’s voice was still a bit rough from laughing and he felt flushed from head to toe when Sam raised his look from the spaghetti sauce he was making and met his gaze.
When he had been little he had called Sam Dad but some time during his teenager period he had realized Sam was only six years older than him and so he had switched to more neutral Sam or Sammy. That last was what uncle Dean, Sam’s dead brother had used to call him but Sam never seemed bothered by Alec using the pet name.
“What’s up kid?”
Alec huffed: “I’m not a kid. I am soon eighteen.” Sam rolled his eyes goodheartedly.
“That’s… Well…. That’s what I kinda wanted to talk about.” “Hmm?” Sam stirred the sauce while studying Alec closely.
“I… Um…” He had been preparing to confront Sam about this for weeks and yet he felt now like he just couldn’t do it.  Alec wished for a moment the floor would just swallow him up but there was no such luck, so he just sighed and lowered his eyes, toying with the hem of his t-shirt before quietly forcing out the words. “I think I might be gay.”
“Oh.” He didn’t dare to raise his eyes to see the look on Sam’s face but his guardian was silent for a long moment before asking: “So are you sure? I mean – you’ve dated pretty nice amount of girls over the years.”
Alec swallowed: “Yeah I’m sure. I… I like girls. Their nice. But their not… How can my DNA be flawed if they mixed it together in a lab!?”
He just blurted that last sentence out, the thought having hunted him for a long years ever since he had realized that he only ever thought of guys when jerking off. Tall guys with board shoulder, big hands, hazelnut hair and mesmerizing green eyes to be exact.
He, the genetically superior being had fallen in love with the man who had been like a father to him, who saw him as his son.
“What! Wait a second there Alec. This is not a flaw. Don’t you ever say or think that again, okay? Being gay doesn’t mean your somehow corrupt or something. It just means you are who you are. Dean learned to live with and so should you.”
“W-what?” Alec stutters out, his eyes going wide at Sam’s words and raising up to meet his in search of mockery and lie.
He knows he had been built, well partially anyway, from Sam brother’s DNA and that they share a lot of similarities starting from looks to a weird itch to take apart and put back together all things mechanical. But Sam had never mentioned anything about Dean swinging both ways before, he has only told him his good looks got him a lot of attention from women and that he had learned to use it for hunting.
Sam just bites his bottom lip and tenses, something clouding over his eyes before he nods and carefully adds: “He… He liked men too.”
There’s silence in their small kitchen for almost a minute, both of them lost in their own thoughts and processing this new information before Sam finally speaks up.
“So does he have a name?”
Alec draws in a quick breath, feeling like a child caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“Who?” He tries for playing dumb but the second the question leaves his lips he knows it won’t distract Sam. The man knows him too damn well. Living six years together on the road will do that to a person. Oh yeah—they had settled down here and there once in a while but never long enough for there to be anyone solid but Sam in his life.
So Alec just walks to the fridge and rummages through its contents without really knowing what he’s looking for.
Sam sighs. “Alec. I know I don’t always get everything in your life but I still wish you would just talk to me about this kind of stuff. That you would trust me in this too.”
Sam sounds almost hurt and Alec swallows down the burning feeling in his throat, grabbing a bottle of soda and turning to head to his room.
“I will Sammy. Just not… Not right now, okay?” He hesitantly says, stopping at the door and turning back a bit.
Sam nods at that, thou he still looks beaten. “Fair enough.”
The seizure starts in the middle of the night and Alec has just about enough time to make it to Sam’s room, before his body totally stops co-operating. His hands are shaking so bad that he can't open the bill bottle himself. He feels helpless, afraid.
“P-pils.” He stutters out in a shaking voice, his body covered in cold sweat and his muscles twitching totally out of his control.
Sam in up in an instant, getting him his pills and a glass of water, helping him to swallow them when Alec’s shaking hands fail.
Alec is not sure if he can make it back down the hall to his own bed when suddenly Sam is picking him up into his arms like he weighs nothing and gently places him down on his own bed, crawling in behind him and tucking the covers up around them.
Alec feels his world turning gray and tuning out for a few seconds and when he comes though he feels incredibly cold before Sam wraps his arms around him, pulling him tighter into his embrace and whispering him comforting words, while the other man’s body heat sinks into him through the thin t-shirt and boxers and he feels warm and safe again.
“S-sammy.” He slurs out, his body exhausted and mind clouded after the horror of seizures.
“Right here kitty.” Sam says rubbing his cheek against the top of his head and Alec feels warm hearing his childhood pet name. He didn’t have to say Sam he had feline DNA in his mix, the young Winchester had figured it out all on his own. He had always bought him enough milk and made sure he was warm when falling asleep, not to mention the way Sam petted his hair. Alec can’t help but to think that the petting must have been the best part. Those big and strong hands smoothing his hair and massaging his scull. He sometimes let out little meowing noises or whimpered from how good it was but Sam never mocked him cause of it, he just smiled fondly and continued to cares him.
Alec feels his breathing getting steadier as the pills kick in and he’s all nice and warm. He’s somewhere halfway asleep when he whispers it out.
“You haven’t caressed me in a while.”
Sam hums under his breath. “I thought you were too old for that. That you wouldn’t want me… That close to you.”
“I always want you close.” Alec sleepily whispers, snuggling deeper into the warm crook of Sam’s neck.
His pleasantly surprised when just before falling asleep he feels strong hands touching his neck and nape. He wants to fight the sleep, to stay awake a while longer to enjoy the sensation but his body is just too tired and he can’t fight the sleep that claims him.

Evil dwells: Home at last
Feeling: tiredtired
Soundtrack: Explosions in the Sky - Remember Me as a Time of Day
Demon Dean
11 September 2011 @ 08:38 pm

Evil dwells: Lonely is the night
Feeling: contemplativecontemplative
Soundtrack: Darren Hayes -- "Words"
Demon Dean
26 August 2011 @ 09:00 am
Originally posted by deathpixie at Signal Boost: Return of the DDoS
For those wanting to know more about the recent DDoS attacks, yes, it looks like it was the Russian government trying to shut down the dissidents again.

As I said last time, while it's frustrating not to have access, LJ is a lot more than a social network platform. From the article:

"LiveJournal isn’t just a social network. It’s also a platform for organizing civic action. Dozens of network projects and groups mobilize people to solve specific problems — from defending the rights of political prisoners to saving endangered historic architecture in Moscow."

So while I know many are considering the move over to Dreamwidth and other such sites, supporting LJ is a way we can help support those who use it for more than a writing/roleplaying/social venue.

Also, as a FYI, LJ is giving paid users effected by the outage two weeks of paid time as compensation.

Evil dwells: Home -- renovating
Feeling: busybusy
Soundtrack: Broken note -- "Mask of gas"
Demon Dean
16 May 2011 @ 09:25 am

Feeling: busybusy
Soundtrack: David Cook- "Don't You (Forget About Me) "